Self-Care - Healing After Domestic Abuse

Surviving domestic abuse is an incredible testament to resilience and strength. However, the journey toward healing doesn’t end when the survivor is eventually free from the abuse, it’s an ongoing process that requires care, patience, and support.

Self-care plays a crucial role in this process, helping survivors rebuild confidence, restore emotional balance, and reclaim their sense of self-worth. Domestic abuse can leave deep emotional scars, leading to anxiety, self-doubt, and even post-traumatic stress. Survivors will naturally often struggle with anxiety and depression, guilt, shame, or the lingering effects of manipulation and multiple losses they have faced.

Self-care is not just about relaxation; it’s a vital part of recovery that reinforces physical, emotional and psychological healing. Prioritising self-care helps survivors, rebuild their self-worth, manage their trauma responses, regain a sense of control and strengthen their support systems.

Healing is personal and what works for one person may not work for another. The key is finding self-care options that bring comfort and renewal for you. Here are some ways survivors can begin to nurture themselves:

Establish Safe and Supportive Spaces

After experiencing abuse, safety is paramount. Creating a secure environment, whether physically or emotionally, helps in regaining stability. This might involve surrounding yourself with trusted people, rearranging your living space for comfort, or joining a support or local community activity group or interest.

Practice Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques

Mindfulness techniques can help some survivors stay focussed in the present and calm rather than feeling overwhelmed by past experiences. Techniques such as deep breathing, journaling, or meditation can ease anxiety and promote relaxation.

Be your own Expert

Recovering from domestic abuse is a deeply personal journey, and having the right resources can empower you to rebuild your life with confidence. Here are some valuable sources as a starting point that you may find of help:

·       ‘The Body Keeps the Score’ by Bessel van der Kolk – this book examines how trauma affects the brain and body, offering ways to heal.

·       ‘Trauma and Recovery’ by Judith Herman – a foundational book on understanding trauma and healing from abuse

·       ‘Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors’ by Janina Fisher – this book provides strategies for overcoming the psychological effects of abuse

·       ‘I’m A Survivor’ – this podcast features short, impactful episodes about enduring and healing from domestic abuse

·       ‘Shatterproof: Thriving after Domestic Abuse’ – a survivor created podcast that explores personal transformation after abuse

Set Boundaries Without Guilt

Healthy boundaries are essential for emotional well-being. Survivors may struggle with saying "no" due to past conditioning, but reclaiming personal space and decision-making is key to healing. Whether distancing from toxic people or taking time for oneself, the creation of your own personal boundaries can be empowering.

Engage in Therapeutic Activities

Creative self-expression—such as painting, writing, or music—can be incredibly healing. These activities allow survivors to process emotions, find joy, and develop a sense of control over their narrative.

Prioritise Physical Wellness

Exercise, nutritious meals, and adequate sleep support emotional recovery. Moving the body, whether through walking, yoga, or stretching, can relieve stress and increase feelings of empowerment.

Seek Professional Support

Healing doesn’t have to be done alone. Therapists, counsellors, and domestic abuse support organisations provide expertise in guidance and validation. Speaking to a professional can offer coping tools and affirm that healing is possible.

Celebrate Small Victories

Recovery is a journey, and every step matters. Whether it’s making a decision for yourself, reconnecting with hobbies, or simply allowing yourself to rest, recognising progress, no matter how small serves to reinforce resilience.

Self-care is a radical act of reclaiming power after abuse.

It’s about believing in one's worth and taking meaningful steps toward healing. Every survivor deserves love, safety, and support, and practicing self-care reinforces that truth. Healing takes time, but with self-care and kindness, survivors can find their way to a brighter future.

Kat x